Sunday

Luckily the doctor was able to remove the blood sucking
Kandiru fish from my urethra

My disgust with the conference room culture
has reached an incredible level
They leave behind their purple hologram colored meat
sandwiches on the sanguine chopping block
conference table, the bridge phone blares out
home workers' gurgling intestines
and barf dogs

My pie chart ended up looking like a peace sign so
All of the reptiles seated at the table laughed at me
and picked at their nose orifices with gnarled claws
Their tongues flicked out the business cliche mating calls:
"I have a lot on my plate."
"You are on my radar screen."
"We will touch base."
And so on.

Monday

Life is like a box of chocolates
even if it gets stomped on,
the gooey remains are still edible.
No matter how badly you fuck up your
life,
YOU CAN FIX IT,
unless you're dead,
and who knows?
That might be an improvement.

Friday

What many people don't know about the Shoe Bomber
is that his feet really fucking stink.

I once shot my own foot for stinking.

Wednesday

If I decide to never look another person in
the eye
I'll become a ghost