I Could Be a Real Prick When I Was Younger
One afternoon when I young, I was carving it up real good on my skateboard at this Shell Station. Shell stations have these great steel curbs. You could grind and slide like crazy on them. The best skate spot was the car wash at Shell because the curbs there varied in height. The pavement sloped down, falling away from the level of the curb. You could try just about anything at that spot. The bad thing was that there was this vacuum right next to the approach. If somebody was vacuuming out their car, it could get a little scrunchy in there as you come rolling up fast as shit on your board ready for lift off and you pop up and slam down on the metal curb and make that ear drum destroying grinding metal screech sound sending sparks flying beneath you (only a few feet from the lid of the station's underground tanks which held hundreds of gallons of gasoline). I was having a blast and this lady pulled up in her car to vacuum it. She was oblivious of me as she bent over into her car, busily vacuuming every little spot and every in between spot, between the seats, under them, and so on. I was zooming around her car, doing my thing. I tried this one trick, and I landed it but I instantly lost my balance, and I shot my board out from under me. The board went rattling away from me as fast as shit right at the lady vacuuming her car. The nose of the board hit her right on her Achilles tendon as she was bent over into the car. Her head went thud against the ceiling of her car when the jolt caused her to straighten her body. The side of her face smacked the door frame as she quickly withdrew from the car. "God dammit!" was all she could say. The pain must have been severe, I know - a thin piece of wood stabbing you with great force just above the back of your foot, not a bone breaker, but a really really painful thing, and then two quick blows to the head in clambering confusion. I ran up to her and said, "I am so sorry." She was still dazed by the searing pain, I think, she said it was okay. She looked off into the distance, concentrating, trying to mentally manage the pain, moving things around her brain to make a path for the pain. I knew that if she had time to gather her wits, she would fuck me up or call the cops or both. Imagine what you would do, you are there and your consciousness is totally washed over by the droning of the vacuum, you are thinking your thoughts: you're getting things done that day, productive, nice day, 'Hmm, what's next on my list of things to do?' beautiful day out, you're humming, car's gettin so clean, you're getting every spot of that car's floor and the seats, and then - - WHACK!!! SEARING PAIN IN YOUR LOWER LEG - - - SUDDENLY, NO WARNING!! ARE YOU BEING ATTACKED OR WHAT?!? She didn't know what to think, what to do. I knew that once the pain subsided it would give way to extreme rage. I apologized once more and skated away. I looked back and she was still standing there on one foot, like a stork, gazing off into the distance, trying to get away from her pain.