Friday

. . . memorized key passages in the U.S. Army Survival Guide . . .
. . . sliding Polaroid photos under the door to you . . .

Wednesday

PLAYS OF THE WEEK: We suck in football, we suck in hockey, who knows what’ll happen in b-ball, but we’re number one in fuckin people up.

HIGHLIGHTS from the Washington D.C. Police Crime Blotter

12/12/2003
2300 Hours
ROBBERY - Gun
2300 Block SKYLAND PL SE
CCN #03172051
C1 (BM 72YRS) REPORTS S1-S2 APPRO. S1 DEMANDED CASH, S2 PUNCHED C1, THEN S1 SHOT C1 IN THE FOREHEAD WITH A SMALL SEMI/AUTO HANDGUN. S1-S2 TOOK VARIOUS PROP FROM C1 AND FLED IN C1'S VEH. C1 TAKEN TO MEDSTAR, ADMITTED.
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12/12/2003
1200 Hours
ROBBERY - Fear
SHERIDAN RD SE & BOWEN RD SE
CCN #03171766
C1 (BM 15YRS) REPORTS S1-S3 APPRO AND S1 DEMANDED C1'S COAT, C1 FEARED,S1-S3 WAS GOING TO HARM HIM AND GAVE THEM VARIOUS PROPERTY AND RAN HOME.
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12/12/2003
1800 Hours
ROBBERY - Gun
3500 Block 22ND ST SE
CCN #03171998
C1 (BM 39YRS) REPORTS S1-S2 APPRO. AND BOTH PROD.HANDGUNS, DEMANDED CASH. S1 THEN TOLD S2 TO DUCT TAPE C1'S HANDS AND ANKLES. C1 STATED THAT HE HAD KIDS. S1 STATED, "LET HIM RIDE." S1-S2 TOOK VARIOUS PROPERTY THEN FLED IN AN NK. DIR.
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12/14/2003
000 Hours
SEX ABUSE - Adult 1st
3200 Block 22ND ST SE
CCN #03172516
C1 (BF 23YRS) REPORTS S1-S2 DRAGGED HER INTO THE WOODED AREA THEN SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED HER AND ROBBED HER OF VARIOUS PROPERTY. C1 TAKEN TO HUH, S1-S2 FLED UNK. DIRECTION.
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12/14/2003
300 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Gun
1900 Block RIDGECREST CT SE
CCN #03172548
{DV} C1 (BF 32YRS) REPORTS THAT, DURING A VERBAL ALTERCATION, S1 (HER CHILDREN'S FATHER) PRODUCED A SILVER HANDGUN AND THREATENED TO KILL C1. S1 ALSO THREATENED TO BURN C1'S APART.
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12/12/2003
900 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Other
1300 Block CONGRESS ST SE
CCN #03171677
{DV} C1 (BF 44YRS) REPORTS THAT DURING A VERBAL ALTERC., S1 (HER DAUGHTER) GRABBED A FORK AND ATTEMPTED TO STAB C1. C1 HAD TO BE RESTRAINED BY FAMILY MEMBERS. CASE CLOSED WITH ARREST.
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12/12/2003
1800 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Knife
2900 Block 8TH ST SE
CCN #03171911
C1 (BF 26YRS) REPORTS DURING A ALTERC., S1 PROD. A KNIFE AND STABBED C1 IN THE LEFT SHOULDER. C1 TAKEN TO HUH BY AMB #26. CASE CLOSED WITH ARREST.
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12/13/2003
000 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Other
2000 Block 14TH ST SE
CCN #03172045
{DV} C1 (BM 48YRS) REPORTS DURING A VERBAL ALTERC., S1-S2(HIS WIFE AND HIS
BROTHER-IN-LAW) JUMPED C1 WHILE HE WAS LAYING IN BED. S1 (HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW)
STRUCK C1 IN THE FACE WITH A METAL PIPE, KNOCKING OUT HIS TOOTH.
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12/14/2003
2300 Hours
ROBBERY - Assault w/Intent
2800 Block LANGSTON PL SE
CCN #03172805
C1 (BM 43YRS) REPORTS WHILE WALKING, S1-S4 DROVE IN A BLK. UNK. VEH. S1 STATED,
"GIVE IT UP." C1 REFUSED AND ONE OF THE SUSPECTS SHOT HIM IN THE RIGHT ARM. THE VEH FLED, WITH S1-S4. C1 TAKEN TO GWH BY AMB #32.
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12/15/2003
1100 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Gun
2600 Block STANTON RD SE
CCN #03172963
C1 (BF 35YRS) & C2 (BF 19YRS) REPORT DURING A VERBAL ALTERC. S1 (C1'S BROTHER AND C2'S UNCLE) PROD. A HANDGUN AND POINTED AT C1-C2 AND STATED, "IF YOU STEP OUTSIDE, I WILL KILL YOU." CASE CLOSED WITH ARREST.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
12/15/2003
600 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Other
1300 Block CONGRESS ST SE
CCN #03172868
C1 (BF 21YRS) REPORTS DURING A VERBAL ALTERC. S1, HER BOYFRIEND, SLAPPED HER, THEN KICKED HER IN THE BODY WITH HARD BOOTS. C1 IS PREGNANT WITH S1'S CHILD.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
12/15/2003
1600 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Other
4600 Block MARTIN LUTHER KING JR AVE SW
CCN #03173091
C1 (BF 42YRS) REPORTS DURING A VERBAL ALTERC S1, HER BOYFRIEND, PULLED THE PHONE CORD OUT OF THE WALL AND ATTEMPTED TO STRANGLE C1 WITH IT. CASE CLOSED WITH ARREST.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
12/15/2003
1600 Hours
Assault With A Deadly Weapon - Gun
4600 Block QUARLES ST NE
CCN #03173163
C1 WAS FOUND IN THE ALLEY IN A CONSCIOUS MANNER SUFFERING FROM SEVERAL GUNSHOTS TO THE LOWER BACK. TRANSPORTED TO PG HOSPITAL. {AWIK} AREA CANVASSED.
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12/15/2003
300 Hours
ROBBERY - Snatch
900 Block EASTERN AVE NE
CCN #03172859
A 7 ELEVEN CASHIER WAS REMOVING MONEY FROM A CASH REGISTER. S1 REACHED OVER THE COUNTER, GRABBED $40, AND RAN N/B ON SHERIFF ROAD INTO P.G. COUNTY. {COMM} AREA CANVASSED.
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12/13/2003
100 Hours
ROBBERY - Assault w/Intent
3000 Block NAYLOR RD SE
CCN #03172102
C1 (BM 39YRS) REPORTS S1-S2 APPRO. C1 AND S1 STATED, "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY." C1 DID NOT COMPLY AND TOOK OFF RUNNING. C1 HEARD THREE GUN SHOTS AND REALIZED HE HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE BACK. C1 TAKEN TO HUH BY AMB.#19.S1-S2 OBTAINED NOTHING.

Tuesday

People who are crazy don't tell you they hear voices in their heads, they just do the crazy assignments the voices give them. My voices tell me to act normal, to bottle up all frustrations, go to work and write some things down, eat cookies - love a woman { but pinch my nipples hard enough, and you know what will come out? The urge to chew the head off of some patient stranger offering friendly advice about rolling around in broken glass and burning myself - that's what. People love to brag about their ability to discern sneaky behavior, so I act like I'm stealing water out of the water fountain, drinking with a dirty tongue, waiting for somebody to look at me so I can scurry away laughing like a mental patient. People love to blog about behavior. - - a few trips to the junk yard and a few courses at a technical college and I'll be able to build an army of skull cracking, brain slurping automatons - if I stand on the roof of a crematorium next to the chimney maybe I can net a few souls to install in them, or I can sell my own ass - right on ebay - buy my ass, somebody. Buy it real good.

Monday

I love finding toys. I think it's good luck. Little pieces of youth return to you in this way. Right now in my cubicle I have many different plastic soldiers, a Micro Machine car – one of those tiny cars, a machine gun that goes to some kind of action figure – an M-60, a skateboard truck from one of those tiny skateboards you ride on with your index finger and middle finger and do little tricks, and a little plastic monkey whose arms and legs move. I usually find them beside the street or in a parking lot. They’re scraped up and abandonned, and there’s no way to get them back to the kid, so none of that “Damn, Bobby. Taking kids’ toys now? How cruel.” Anyway – I lost my share of toys when I was a kid. I hope adults found them and lived a little longer because of it.