Last night I met up with some old friends at Peabody's and got drunk. I left that bar, and I walked out onto the beach. There were people out in the water laughing and splashing around. I couldn't see them very well, it was dark, and I was pretty drunk. "Are all those fuckers naked out there or what?" I ran and dove in and swam blindly at the bottom. The ocean is dark as shit at night when you're swimming under the surface. I heard their garbled laughing as I swam under water. It was cold. I swam back in.

There were a lot of military type guys and girls around the beach. I was thinking: Okay, some of these folks have actually been to war in Iraq. Some of these folks have killed people and had people killed right around them. These military guys and military girls looked really young to me.


Fuck life and the world.  I'm going to buy this skating rink on eBay in Glasco, KS for $24,000:
I'm droppin out of life, and growing my own vegetables; and I'm gonna just roller skate until I die.
I was driving down the road earlier today, and I saw a bunch of stuff strewn up and down the sidewalk in front of this comparatively low rent, high-rise apartment building. Some person or some family had been evicted. There were people milling around, picking through the stuff, taking things, walking away all gleeful. I don’t think I saw any of the evictees around. They would have been pretty easy to identify, and these other sniffing fuckers wouldn't be quite so audacious if the evictees were still around.

I can imagine the sad sad scene when the evictees were still there standing around – like right before they walked away to a bus stop or whatever - leaving just about all of their shit behind. What do you do when your ass is OUT, and all your stuff is getting thrown on the sidewalk by some dead hearted, scary looking gang of goons? And your kids are running around crying and screaming, and other residents are staring at you, and cars are slowing down and sarcastic ass holes honking horns, and the sky is clouding up really sinister and already you are feeling some rain drops - and your possesions look weird and foreign to you outdoors with rain splattering on them and the problem – THE PROBLEM – whatever it is that caused you to get evicted – that reason, your understanding of it, your feeling about it – is pissing warmly down your spine – the worse feeling – the worse combination of the worse feelings on the worse day of your life.


Today I was walking into an ice cream shop, and this little kid came running out of the place. He was five or six years old, I guess. He had an ice cream cone in his hand. He was running really fast out of there, and he slipped and fell, he fell completely over – onto his side. Somehow, quite incredibly, amazingly skillfully, he was able to keep his ice cream cone upright and intact - it never left his hand even though he fell. He did not drop a single dab of ice cream, and he stood, pushing himself up with his free hand, and continued on his way.

Way to go, little man. Way to go.


I'm feeling so inferior, I decided to act very superior . . . and really excel at it . . .