Tuesday

One time my brother saved my sister from the undertow at the beach when she was tiny - she got washed off this raft and was getting pulled under. He said all he could see was her diaper as she was being swept under, and he grabbed for it and pulled her right out. They were both pretty young at the time.

One time he saved me from getting my ass bit off by this god damn crazy German Shepard in a junk yard. I didn't see the bastard sitting there under a chopped junk car, and he was getting ready to lunge at me to chew my ass off - no shit.

One time my brother had to put one of those junk yard dogs down. It was foaming at the mouth - running everybody inside the building, and it was going to bite somebody if somebody didn't do something. So Brad went after him with his pistol and shot him.

One time my brother beat the hell out of this guy because he was stalking my sister down the street, saying all this lewd crap to her. She came inside crying and my brother was like: Who? What? Where? Chased the guy down the street, and the guy pulled out these nunchucks or whatever. He would swing them at Brad and Brad would block with his arm and kick the guy in the guts. He kicked the guy in the guts over and over until the cops came and arrested the guy.

Brad was indeed Superman.

I'm serious and honest when I tell you : He once raced against a car on foot and won. He raced this guy just to the end of the next yard or whatever. The guy's car was a real clunker. His car would kind of sputter sometimes when he popped the clutch, and performance did not improve much once under way. So by the time he engaged the clutch and gassed it and got it going and shit - my brother was already there - just about.

Super super.

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