Thursday

I’ve got so much to say, I’m just gonna say it, and I am going to pattern this group of items in the form of a list – in honor of the greatest list compiler I have ever witnessed on the internet. It’s just of list of things - you know - I’m thinking:

1. I roam all over Washington, DC and super glue plastic toy soldiers to every surface I can.

2. There’s an exhaust vent or heating vent thing in a flowerbed outside this Art Museum/Art School here in Washington, DC. Homeless guys usually sleep there because it’s warm by that vent. Well, this performance artist has set up her exhibit right in their spot! She built a wooden platform there and sits on it wordlessly scowling out towards the White House all day and all night ignoring every word said to her (except to smile at it [a smile of hate {or mock hate?}]). Behind her are bottles of water for drinkin. In front of her are bottles for peein – seriously – I mean - some yellowish liquid which I am going to have to go ahead and guess are her urine. She just sits there wrapped in blankets. There’s a binder on a podium in front of her with her bio and her statement of purpose or whatever. Don’t get me wrong: I love performance art. Don’t get me wrong: I love the homeless.

3. When the tornado devastated the mental hospital, the patients were surprisingly calm.

4. Sitting in my apartment imitating every noise I hear in the hallway.

5. . . . just like those people who stop taking the medicine because one day they feel better . . .

6. Sometimes you see these bits of fuzz floating in the air and you wonder: Is that some weird insect? Is that part of a plant? Is that the filling from somebody’s jacket?

7. The story of an art museum security guard who allows the janitor to sleep in the museum at night because he’s been evicted. Sometimes the poor guy oversleeps, and he has to remain perfectly still because the museum has opened, and the patrons think he is an exhibit.

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