When a town gets annexed by a bigger municipality
and the people from that town have since died
and their families have moved on to other places
because there's no more ore in the hills around
and the only place you'll see the name of that town
is on the sign for some florist or some realtor or
some grave yard

Miners Mills, Pennsylvania
It existed. My father was from there.


Instead of standing in the same spot and taking turns chipping balls in the same direction down field, that day, my dad and I stood at opposite ends of the field and chipped balls to each other. At each other. It was like a golf shot duel. We almost hit each other several times. We didn’t give a shit. He or I - if a shot looked like it was getting too close, one of us would just give a shout, and the other would duck and cover. We were both hitting well - accurate as hell. We were only chipping about fifty or sixty yards, nine and eight irons. A shot like that wouldn’t hurt that much anyway. We trusted each other - trusted each other not to get pissed if somebody got hit with a ball. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and there was a warm breeze blowing. We were by the river. It was a goofy thing to do and a glorious day for it.


I am who I am because I decided it would be a good idea to be this way. Mostly. Usually. I mean there's a certain percentage of weakness and pathology in that formula . . . when you say, "I love you" to people close to you, and you get used to saying it all the time, "I love you" "I love you" "I love you," and then you accidentally say it to somebody at work, and then you get embarrassed, and you say you don't actually love them, you're just so used to saying that to certain people, but they are not technically included in that group, but it's too late, it's all over the company, and then HR calls . . . and then they run the report on you . . . you would be surprised what shows up on that report


Quitting my emotions like I quit the cigarettes.


The man at Tinfoil Viking Science has a post that is so cool, I thought I’d copy his idea and write about a dialogue between my dad and me here on my blog. I can’t remember exactly what my dad and I were saying, though, so I’ll just summarize.

My dad and I were sitting on his porch drinking beers and somebody broke down right in front of the house. My brother-in-law was there, and he’s good with cars, so he was back and forth, in and out of the house, helping the guy. He was bringing out tools and trying to figure out what was wrong with the guy’s car. My sister brought out the cordless phone so the guy could call somebody.

My dad and I were just sitting there drinking our beers. Neither of us were any good at fixing cars. I told my dad that I would go out there and try to help, but I’d probably just end up standing there scratching my nuts.

While we sat there, I told my dad about a time that I actually did help a person with car trouble, and how I felt like a real hero. I was walking out of the building where I worked at the time, and this lady was sitting in her Jeep Cherokee with the door open. She couldn’t get it started. She would turn the key, and nothing. I told her to pop the hood. Her battery cable was very loose. I could turn it with my fingers. So I leaned in and put all my weight on the cable and pressed it down really hard on the battery, twisting like hell until I got it on there as tight as I possibly could. She hit the ignition and it started right up. She was so grateful. I told her to drive it straight to a gas station or whatever and get somebody to tighten it with a wrench. For all I know, she broke down somewhere along the way and got eaten by wolves. The smart move for her would have been to call tow truck or something.

. . . anyway, yeah, . .. what was I talkin about . ?


I realized that I am dying of thirst, I forget to drink water. I get bad headaches, I halucinate, and my tongue swells. I realized I am no longer waterproof - with hundreds of dollars worth of gadgets in my pockets. If I get caught in a rain storm or pushed into a swimming pool, I will cease to function. I realized that I may have been caught on camera - putting all those stickers up. They use the cameras to study passenger tendencies. That is my particular tendency.
I’m worried about work lately. It’s very slow. I suppose I should enjoy the downtime, but too much downtime inevitably means things are falling apart somewhere.

Writing about my work concerns on my blog is probably not the best way to allay those concerns. I blog a lot at work, and I worry about who might be watching. I don’t want to jinx myself. So far, the little angels in the IT department have not run the report on me, not that I know of. Nobody has said anything to me about my internet usage specifically. The worse trouble I’ve ever heard of anyone bringing upon them self with internet usage was this guy a few cubicles down from me who was practically watching TV on his computer - streaming video.

I have had some slack ass jobs. I have had jobs where I would go for days or even weeks without having any tasks at all.