I haven't made any friends in Florida yet!

1. My expectations for Florida were obliterated rather quickly upon arrival. I don't know why, but I just didn't expect it to be the typical southern state. That sounds really stupid, doesn't it?

2. I live in a county outside of Orlando... I guess that with these outlying areas - there are still families here who have been here for generation upon generation (depressingly similar to Virginia). They're suspicious of newcomers - younger newcomers, that is. I guess they're used to the retirees.

3. The friendliest people where I live are the retirees.

4. Metro Orlando is expanding - like all metro areas. I live in Eustis - an area that is reasonably accessible to Orlando metro (by DC standards, anyway), yet still pretty isolated. I guess you live as close as you can afford to - to the metro area - to your job. The poorer you are, the longer your commute. When you live so far from your job, your home life in the county is so different from the hustle and bustle and diversity and tone and attitude and utility of your work district. (My new boss is Muslim... and I'm somewhat ignorant but trying... but the day before we left for the holidays, I got to watch everybody who worked in and near our department stumble through their seasons greetings to my boss: Happy you celebrate. If not, enjoy your time off.)

5. I get here to Florida - to the Orlando area - and they've shattered their all time record for murders this year. There're more murders here than in Miami. Only Jacksonville has more - but Jax is way bigger.

6. The lakes are so poluted. There are signs next to the lake that warn you about killer amoebas and shit. Do not swim near the bottom. Wear earplugs. Wear eye protection. Even the cold water burns. It's all farm run off and industrial waste.

7. The one great poetry reading down here that I found, Speakeasy at Wills Pub on Mills Ave., hosted by Todd Caviness... it ended a few months after I got here.


Erik Donald France said...

Merry Christmas, Bobby -- hope you have a great one! Cheers' Erik

Anonymous said...

you seem to hate florida, and you dont have a job you seem to like why do you stay?

Bobby said...

Well, anonymous person:

1. I'm afraid to move to somewhere that I'll end up hating even more.

2. I enjoy complaining.

3. Maybe it'll help if somebody reads this and says, "Wow, we are indeed a messed up people. Perhaps we should change our ways. Thanks, Skullbolt Bobby. Thanks for pointing out our many follies. We've been waiting for a guy like you to come along and help us. We'd like to rename Main Street. We'll call it Skullbolt Avenue."

4. My girlfriend has a job here which is important to her career.

5. I fell for the picture postcard perception of Florida that is prevalent.

6. My parents lived here before I was born, and they seemed to love it.

. . . Where do you live? Why do you live where you live? Is it perfect? Do you ever complain about where you live? Do you have a blog?

JR's Thumbprints said...

Hey Bobby,
Last time I was in Orlando, I rented a condo for a week. Just a little R & R, or at least that's what I thought I'd do. Some lawn maintenance person cranked up his leaf blower every morning at the crack of dawn. I got up to say something to him. He peeled off his ear plugs and said, "No English." I haven't been back since.

Cindy-Lou said...

Never be fooled by southern states!
But seriously, if the sign says "don't swim near the bottom" is anyone going to risk it and swim near the top?

m said...

I don't think I would like Florida. Iwrote Jeb Bush and told him I would never visit Florida.

Anne said...

Well yea but then it swings the other way, right?
You are really poor if live out in the boonies. But if you get FAR ENOUGH out into the boonies you become the uber rich, yes? The really wealthy want to live as far from "urban center" as possible. So, places are weird that way. That's the way it is here, anyway....

Notorious Monster said...

Hey are you on myspace? If so, look me up under my e-mail,

get Keri on there too- its the best way to keep up with people.

I was on a blog hiattus, now Im back. FUCK YEA

potentially lethal said...

If I lived there, I would be your friend...


Happy New Year.

Bobby said...

happy new year!

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