1. What would your cat do about it if a bear broke down your front door?
2. New employees are nice to me until they realize how low on the org chart I am here. Then they ignore me. Then I start mumbling shit.
3. The other night I was driving through this remote area, a wildlife refuge. You never see anybody walking out there, but suddenly I saw a guy walking next to the road. My headlights hit him weird through the fog - he appeared to be glowing. “Wow, a ghost,” I mumbled. I rounded this bend in the road, and there were ambulances and fire engines and cops and twisted up cars next to the road.
4. I went to the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine, Florida. The water does not gush out of the ground anymore. The water table is too low. The water has to be pumped out. It tastes horrible. It’s probably got lead or radon or argon or nitrates whatever in it. It will probably decrease my lifespan.


Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Stick tot he grocery store water. You're happier there anyways! Right?

I like the grocery store music sometimes, too. I also wonder what it means about me, and my age.

Everyonce in a while the music was interrupted by Smokey Robinson imploring me to try his new cajun entrees (in the frozen aisle!) I did, and the entree was bland and terrible. It tasted bland, like food at a banquest hall or retirement home.

Rurality said...

1. It's the bathroom door that's the problem.

2. Tell them you are Vice President of Things Beginning with H.

3a. Sylvanshine.
3b. Des visions ectoplasmique.

4. They hide the real one.

The Mighty Kat said...

oh shit bobby, i went to hit "next blog" and hit "flag blog" instead! says i flagged you for objectionable content! sorry man! let us know what happens when this happens...

Pacian said...

Quoth Google:

Note: users may click the "Unflag" button if they change their mind.

PS. My cat would kill the bear with kung fu. Hopefully it would be a bear that deserved it, and not one merely looking for honey.

Bobby said...

When Smokey sings - it's okay - when he cooks, eh . . .

Rurality - I had to Google that term and that phrase, wow, I didn't know about that stuff. this was a real live ghost though.

Knock knock on my flat door, Kat.

I know, Pacian. I'd give up all my honey to avoid that. Even the good stuff.

Rurality said...

I wrote about sylvanshine on my blog once and the guy who discovered sylvanshine wrote me an email. I love blogs!

Bobby said...

Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, we're all wired together.