EXACTLY HOW MUCH SARCASM CAN I GET AWAY WITH?

DON'T FORGET:

Like...in general...just - don't. Don't forget stuff. Because there are certain things you should remember. So as a rule, just DON'T FORGET. Unless it's something you're trying to forget - like something bad...but then...what does that mean? You're going into denial? Probably not good.

ALSO: Don't keep using the same jokes over and over again. Keep a checklist. Check it each day. Come up with new material. Or just don't try to be funny. If you can't think of anything funny, be dramatic.

It's too early. I can't sleep. I should not be online.

My dad was one of the most practical people I ever knew and he believed in ghosts.

Sometimes I wish my boss would go home and take all of her stuffed animals and seat them at little desks and just boss them around all day - just so she can get it out of her system.

If I don't have enough human contact while I'm awake, I make up for it in my dreams. I have all kinds of conversations in my dreams. It gets confusing though. Like I will get to thinking about a subject (while I'm awake (I guess)), and I remember that I was just talking about that subject with somebody - but then I realize that I can't determine with total certainty whether I had that conversation while I was awake or if I had it with one of my dream friends. Sometimes people I know in real life - who aren't really friends - are my good friends in my dreams. This is pretty sad. Conscious Bobby just isn't as outgoing as Dreaming Bobby. Some day I'll consolidate all of the different Bobbys into one, and we...I...will be like a super hero.

Maybe I have some kind of hyper, super sense - sense of feel - or maybe it's just the nature of this building, the design - the floor, taut like a drum skin...let me tell you: as I sit in my cubicle, I can feel it in the floor - through the soles of my shoes - when people approach