Thursday

I hate it when somebody is using some kind of textbook strategy on me. I hate it when somebody shifts their share of the weight of the world onto me without first knocking off some of the rough edges. I hate more severe things too: I hate gun shots on Christmas Eve - responses to gunshots from Thanksgiving. I hate hospitals. I hate less severe things: I hate it when I have the window seat, and the passenger in the middle seat is osculating his head around and bobbing and weaving to get every glimpse from every angle of every landmark he can get from the middle seat - breathing some kind of horrible vapors, like a combination of tobacco juice and strange meats right into my face. I hate having vacation days and not being able to use them. I hate that the vacation was more punishing than the work I was vacationing from. I hate reindeer and their games. I hate working my butt off while people around me socialize all day, and then I am told I’m the one not keeping up with deadlines. I hate my self doubt. I hate feeling out of place. I hate the prospect that my writing dream is slipping away from me because I don’t know what to submit nor where to submit it; nor do I know how to find time and energy to develop anything. So what do I do? I put up stickers and leave notes everywhere.

11 comments:

Pernicious said...

Find an agent and then send them your stickers for publication. That strategy will catch them off guard.

Pacian said...

I hate that too.

lyzne said...

zines.

lluviation said...

i wanted to leave something here before it got too far along and you weren't reading the comments for this post anymore (thank you for that one comment a year or so ago, I just saw it...I really have trouble with the blogging thing).

anyway, i just wanted to give you a bit of support for your writing. from what i have seen here i see that you can tap into and articulate the anxiety and thoughts I think many people have, but are unable to communicate (or even understand). i'm not sure what type of writing you do (besides this) but have you tried submitting again and again works to literaty magazines or other press? sorry if i am stating the obvious. also, have you applied to any artist residences? for any grants?? it might be a good way to get some money and free time to do your work, but also to meet some people as well. i know of someone who wrote his first novel by going to different artist residences. a good site for that is www.nyfa.org
you need to sign up for it, but again, it is a pretty good resource.

the only other thing i can think of is that i am moving to new york, and you could send me your stuff and i can start leaving it randomly in places for you.

anyway, don't q u i t.

Bobby said...

Thanks Illuviation! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'll get it going. I'm going back to school in the summer, so that'll get me some feedback and direction.

Don't you quit either. Do you have another blog or project going on? I only have your link to your blog with the post from a year ago.

Thanks again. I've tried some journals like ducts.org, Bellevue, Tin House, Black Bird, Potomac, and some others - I just can't seem to get the right thing to the right people. Sometimes I'll get feedback, but . . . I actually had a thing in In Posse, but that was over ten years ago - yikes

lluviation said...

actually, i do have a project. but my work is photography, not writing. i actually hate HATE to write. i was doing mail art for awhile too. i miss it, but i'm almost done applying for grad school and then next week, i'll start back up the mail art, the blog, and the rest of my life.

ehhem, but anyway. see you got feedback, that is excellent, because it means that you were good enough for them to actually write back. you should just resubmit again and again and again.

do you have any writing partners to bounce ideas with and get feedback from?

did you look at the site for residencies and grants??

if you apply for any of them, i heard applying for winter months is better since there is less competition.

Bobby said...

Illuviation, do you have a flickr? Or are you doing your stuff offline?

Mail art? I have got to find out what that is!

I'll have to look into residencies. Grants - I hope those will come when I get into school. I'm going to ease into school though. Gonna try and kick ass in a class or two, maybe make some contact.

lluviation said...

um, no i have never been on flickr's site. right now i have some stuff posted on myspace for my friends to give me feedback, but eventually i have to get a real site up.

mail art: well, that is just art i send through the mail. it is just a fancy, arty letter really. but its fun and nice to connect with someone in a more concrete way than email. and it ends up becoming an exchange of words and art.

i got a residency at the vermont studio. i think they have writing ones too. i don't know if being in rural vermont in the middle of the winter is your thing, but the are decent, and have a deadline coming up february 15th.

Bobby said...

I read about artist trading cards. That got me really really excited. But that must be tough - that's not much room to work with.

Oh, and also - Cold like - Vermont in winter- that might just shock me into something, you know?

lluviation said...

um, i heard about those too. i like the idea. i started doing a journal project in a small skinny moleskin book. my friend and i would send it back and forth, but then we got busy. i left the country, she had a baby, etc etc. it was a nice way to share.

i've also done photo exchanges through the mail and funky post cards. when it gets down to it, i just love receiving mail.

vermont isn't so bad. just need to wear long underwear. and wool. lots of it.

oh but maybe to start off with you could do a writing exchange. get a few people who you like their writing and do a shared story where you pass it to one another. i always recommend the mail, but i suppose it is easy enough to do it through email. i guess, i see these sort of things as more creative excersizes, rather than trying to persue a finished product. it is the process....

but that's also just me.

Cupcake Man said...

you should submit your writing to me. www.walrusmagazine.com. canada's mag of the year. who is the web manager? I am.

pat@walrusmagazine.com

the bobby blog. take skullbolt to all of canada. let's discuss...