Your twenties versus thirties: A continuation of a great conversation developing in the comments window below.
One thing that did seem to change from my twenties to my thirties: I seemed to gain credibility. I'm not sure why. I honestly don’t feel any wiser. Maybe it's because I look older. Or maybe it's because I am a lot more likely to admit it when I don't know. I doubt that I am any wiser. That simply can't be it. Maybe I learned how to be more convincing. Maybe I seem more confident. Maybe I was full of you know what back then and it was obvious to any observer.
My twenties were tough: A lot more of the back breaking and teeth grinding and stress - a lot of it unnecessary. I had anxiety that felt like physical pain - like I was on fire or something.
I felt like I had to prove myself all of the time in my twenties. I felt the need to TRY to fit in everywhere. Instead of finding a situation that suited me, I tried to suit myself to the situations I encountered.
I don't know. I guess I have enjoyed my thirties more, but I have gotten a little lonely. I lost touch with a lot of the friends I had from my college days and my partying days. I don’t go out much anymore. I’m somewhat content with that, but sometimes I do get a little lonely - sometimes you just want to be rowdy with a crowd of people who know you and all that stuff. My thirties are definitely more chill.
I guess I am in my element - a lot more aware of who I am and what I want out of life. I’ve learned how to give myself a break from the demons and the neuroses and the guilt and the regret and a lot of that stuff.
I don’t know. Maybe I just off-loaded one crew of demons just so another crew of demons could climb onboard.