I'm taking IQ tests and trying sample LSAT questions and looking for any other mirrors or gauges of performance, maybe I'll do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator thing next. Still trying to find myself: my skills, my identity, my aim, my art, my abilities, my disabilities. Who am I? What do I do? What should I do? Am I just some dumb-ass fool who ought to just make as much money as possible - while I can - in order to prepare for when senility sets in? Pre-pay my looney bin tuition, save up for the rent payments at the group home.

I do this now and then: I do all of this searching - self-searching, and I gather some data, and then I do nothing with it. Sometimes you just need to check under your own hood. You just need to know your abilities and thus have indications about your options. Whether you take advantage of any of the options is another matter.

My class starts tomorrow. It's an online class. Cost me more than three hundred beans. It's a creative writing class.

The Engish Department adviser said that creative writing took a hit because of how jacked-up the budget is. You see, Florida doesn't have state income tax. And now that the real estate market has pooped in the bed - there ain't no money - and the Governor is off hangin out in DC trying to get on with the next phase of his career - and meanwhile there is a serious budget problem here in Florida. So important stuff like cops having enough bullets in their guns, firemen having enough hoses, the arts and me being able to rant and rave in a creative writing class - all - facing cutbacks. But I'm getting off track here. (Was I ever on track?)

The Engish Department adviser also said that they lost some key staff in the creative writing shop. I recently obtained a copy of their journal, Florida Review. Not much of a web page, but the actual hard copy journal really got me excited. It's a serious journal, no doubt. I hope that journal doesn't suffer because of the budget mess.

Anyway, I'm searching and searching for myself - if you see me out there sleep walking, give me a call when I wake up.


Jennifer B said...

They reckon you can be searching for yourself through at least 3 life-times, and still require a fourth and then some... 'Tis the searching for yourself that causes the 'disorders', once you've undergone a complete identity melt-down, at which point you don't give a shit who the hell you are any more, that's when things start to get easier.

whimsical brainpan said...

I suspect you use what you find in your searches more than you think.

Good luck with the class!

Anonymous said...

"Sometimes you just need to check under your own hood" - well said! Alas, I do it too too much and the little holder-upper thingy has worn out and that hood is gettin heavier and heavier to lift. Sigh... it's all gonna come crashing down on my noggin if I don't just accept who I am NOW, get in the damn car a.k.a. My Life and drive.
Jen B. said it poyfectly!
Also, creative writing is wunerful stuff. You'll be sharing it on your blog, yes?

Ashley said...

Good luck with the creative writing class!
I've taken two. One I loved the other I hated.
Hopefully, you'll enjoy yours!

Billy said...

write for the poets left.

Bobby said...

No time for soul searchin this week - and that's a good thing. Time for soul output now.

I highly - highly recommend a creative writing class. You get all these prompts and just - - off you go -- typing like crazy. I was up until one, two, three in the morning - gettin up at five fifteen. Hard work.

The Mighty Kat said...

Hey, that's weird...I know I posted a response to this about you taking a class, but I don't see it. I just checked to see if you'd responded. If you HAD, that would be extra weird.

Bobby said...

Yeah Kat - that comment is one post down. I knew I'd seen that one somewhere. I'm so behind on my bloggin.

Thanks for the well wishes - this class is kickin my butt.

And yes, belonging to a sick sick society is not exactly a healthy thing.

Bobby said...

...oh, and by the way, Kat. I seem to remember begging and pleading with you to get yourself on Twitter.

What happened with that?

Come on. All the kids are doing it. You know you want to.

And that goes for the rest of you's too! You got to get with Billy, Auld Hat and me and get on Twitter.