Four Day Weekend
I have no plans. I'm feeling good though. I had a very cleansing one-on-one meeting with the boss, and I presented some grievances and some were presented against me. I’m not sociable enough, she said, I’m not a team player. I pointed out the difference between team player and sociable, and it turned into a sociology debate and then a point by point discussion about what sucks about everybody, and then I asked about new positions opening up in our branch of the org chart...and before we realized it, we had been in that room for two and a half hours. We came out of there laughing.
I want to be a better person.
But I worry I’ll turn into the opposite of a writer. If you’re constantly letting things go (the meditation mantra or whatever, “Let go” “letting go”) . . . if you’re constantly letting go, how do you record anything? That’s what writers do (wannabe writers too)...you’re recording everything.
I guess you record it and then let it go.
I heard a real writer say that once you write it, it’s gone. So maybe that's true - by writing it, you let it go. When you’re writing it, you’re trying to pull pieces of the memory from the past to the present, and you’re assembling the pieces, and soon this thing you’re assembling becomes the new form of it, the new reality of it - - so instead of having an undesirable memory, what you have is this thing you’ve written.
I don’t know if that’s right or if that’s just poetry...I heard some writer say it on NPR. ...by it being poetry, maybe it’s righter than right could possibly be, righter than words could ever say. Maybe by writing it, and writing it out successfully, you have beaten it.