Saturday

In a Funk Yesterday

Yesterday I didn’t have to work, so I went to two book stores and two libraries. As I poked around the county slowly, I got beeped at and scowled at too...and I started to wonder whether all of my human interactions from this day forward would be negative or devoid of value. Generally, strangers feel no need to be nice to you. If the majority of your human contact is with strangers (or coworkers), you’re just not getting the best out of humanity.

I need more positive interactions. I need more friends! The amount of friends that I have (on average) has steadily declined since college. Friends are obligated to be nice to you. Even when they’re giving you shit - what they’re doing - is being nice to you. Yes: Punch me in the stomach. Yes: Throw a slinky into the fan belt of my car.

Yep, I was in a pretty bad funk yesterday. But really, it’s been all week. Maybe a factor in this funk is that holiday depression you hear so much about - which will be especially acute this year because I’m not headed home.

Home.

Home is here now...I guess. The place I used to call home is just a place where a few family members live. The rest of the family has scattered to other states. Maybe the depressing thing is that I don’t have a concrete definition of home.

Oh well. I guess I should just keep a few things in mind:

1. Do I want to spend all of my hours and minutes and days in a bad mood? No.
Should I just let go of the bad stuff? Yes.
2. Are the holidays supposed to be like the ones you see in TV commercials? Maybe. But probably not.
3. Can I treat everybody with compassion? Even the ones who act like jerkoffs? Yes. Maybe. It’s hard. Maybe I can.
4. Maybe being compassionate sometimes means walking by without saying a thing - sometimes strangers don’t want to be dragged out of their shells.

7 comments:

laura b. said...

Aw, I get in the funked up mood myself on occasion. For me, sometimes just reminding myself that it is a mood and not a permanent state helps.
I also hear you about the whole "home" thing. I'm trying to learn to carry my home in my heart.

foam said...

eh, i have the blahs around this time of the year too.
plus, i'm not much for all the holiday hoopla. yes, and your home now is where you reside with your wife. years ago my husband and i realized we needed to make our own traditions whether they were small or large or just involved the 2 of us at times. of course, we now have children, so traditions were reinvented again.
but i do have to agree, strangers can be more crabby than usual around this time of the year.
here's to a better mood for you ... :)

Pamela said...

Home is where the heart is.. Or so they say. You'll be able to develop your own traditions. And people will be happier someday, including you.

Pacian said...

I wish that I didn't know exactly what you mean.

Celticspirit said...

I have discovered from living in many places that Home is more a state of mind than a place. As someone else said, it's where the heart is.

The thing about the holidays that turns me off is the commercialism. People are so confused as to why they are celebrating. I hear people at work every day talking about how much they have bought, or not bought, and how much more they have to get. I want to shout to them....slow down! What's the rush? It's not a contest to see how much you can buy your family and how much money you can spend. Choose peace and love over materialism. I wish people would just open their eyes.

Bobby said...

Home is definitely where the heart is. It sounds corny, but maybe a home 'of sorts' is out on the internets, commuting and communicating and commiserating and celebrating with all of you folks: Laura B, Foam, Pamela, Pacian, Celticspirit.

If home is where your friends are, then . . .

movin' down the road said...

that was my day yesterday. it sometimes takes a list like yours to get out of that funk! Even if acknowledging the crumminess or the things that NEED work.