Wednesday

Working hard! Learning lots! Writing stuff down! Meeting people! Running around all over town doing everything I can. I figured out a problem today, a work thing - it had been dogging me a while. I had it working just right and looking just right, and then poof, it disappeared. Scattered into the memory vapors. I mean, it's there, I see it in a list, but it won't display. Funny. I'll get it tomorrow I guess. Clickitty click. What I'm working on is nada nothing compared to what some of the others are working on. But I'm steadily cramming stuff into my brains faster than it leaks out. I have to keep some heart and soul *or* lose all traces of self. Not sure which, and that's a pretty big question. It's both, the words are just failing here, just like most times. Empty the good empty. Lose self in the big what. Be a noble nothing-everything. Don't know what I'm going on about. I guess there's a balance that is just right for you and an even lesser one for me. What is pure self indulgence vs. what is useful accounts... what is helping vs. what is just uselessly taking up bits and bites...what am I fixing, what am I breaking...am I doing either really...or just movin around...lost in the flow...lost real good..

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