Wednesday

A lot of spiritual advice seems to go to extremes or propose extreme ideas.

Your consciousness came before everything else...everything else owes its existence to your consciousness.

But: There was stuff here before I was born. (Is this body that sits here typing this stuff - is it really just a container that clear awareness was poured into...a glass that will crack one day, spilling its contents out - so it can evaporate back into everything - - never having left, never having been created?)

'I don't exist.'...the 'I' ...'me'- does not exist. You are part of everything. You are everything. (Am I really a part of everything and everyone? Even you?)

But: I have a license and a job and a desk where I sit at work and a social security number and a body and so on. If I make a mistake at work, my ass gets chewed.

I am afraid to ask spiritual seekers questions about these basics. I'm afraid they'll all laugh at me.

Or do these words exaggerate on purpose - trying to push you as far as you'll go toward that unattainable perfections...

Although: Sometimes when my mind really empties out, I do feel like I'm not there. I do feel sort of like I've melted into the background, melted into the surroundings, integrated assimilated... Is this where/how I should be? Is this it? More and more I notice these interludes. More and more, things that used to touch me can't touch dis. More and more - less and less. The bad mind stuff goes away, but I've been wondering if there's some joy coming. As I type all this, I feel like all of it is wrong. It's just exercise for my fingers...I might as well be banging away on a keyboard, like a casio or a toy piano - instead of banging useless keystrokes that create dopey letters on a blog nobody reads. (Woah is me (the not-me).)

There's got to be a middle path in all this. I don't know.

I have been watching videos from conscious.tv for several days straight. I'm sure a regular conscious.tv viewer would be able to come along and shred my blog post to bits. Moreover, I'm sure that for me to sit here and think about my blog post getting shredded - this could probably be shredded. So, once again, I have found the perfect time to stop typing and click the 'Publish' button.

No comments: