What I don't understand is: how can you have THAT KIND OF CONNECTION with a person, and then suddenly switch it off. I guess that's my big question. Maybe it meant more to me than it did to you. I guess that's it. It seemed to mean SO much though. To me.
This goes out to more than one person, by the way. And maybe that's part of the problem.
But: Any one of those people, though, could have been THE CONNECTION. The one. But. Each connection failed. One right after another. I'm just observing. I don't really give that much of a fuck. I do and I don't. (I do.) I don't know. It seemed to mean a lot to me. At the time. Even now. it means a lot. I don't know why.
I guess the main factor at this time, the time of this posting I mean, is this: I'm a little drunk. A lot drunk maybe.
Anyway. These thoughts get shaken loose from time to time. But yeah: How do you just switch that shit off? I think there's some kind of deep problem, yo.