Sunday

Yesterday's Indicators...or...Synchs?

Blasts at Buddhist Sites in East India Injure 2 - ABC News

I was running around yesterday, running errands, and it seemed like I was seeing example after example of crude, hostile behavior. More than the usual. And I hate to complain...or...I like to say that I hate to complain, but I do complain, but I am truly trying not to complain so much anymore...but anyway, the examples of crudeness and hostility I saw aren't really worth mentioning, but the repeated witnessing of them yesterday was really making me feel crummy about my neighborhood and my world. I was in a kind of guarded, crummy mood before it was all over with yesterday. I tried to engage the thoughts that arose only as much as I had to in order to be able to let go of them: the judgements - the thinking that cropped up in my head after seeing these people act this way...some dude mad-dogging me hard at the barber shop...some dude throws his snot rag in my shopping cart...drunk lady screaming fuck fuck and motherfuck at the pool with little kids running around...guy driving his car through the parking lot at sixty or seventy miles-per-hour, slamming on brakes, pounding on somebody's door to the point where I thought he'd just forgo the knocking and kick the door in and kill everybody inside with his bare hands...I'm being dramatic, but it seemed like these displays were just one right after another. More than the usual. They had a cumulative affect on my brains. Yesterday the train wrecked in Montreal. Yesterday the plane crash landed in San Francisco. There weren't a lot of casualties yesterday, no more than a usual day of bombings and clashes at protests (with gang rapes at those protests), but there was enough crap going on that I even tweeted a couple of times for everybody to slooooow dowwn.

And then I woke up and one of the first tweets I saw was about somebody setting off bombs at Buddhist sites. (Oh, and this Dharma center I go to sometimes put out a request for help to paint their building...which I ignored...opting instead to run my personal errands and catch up on work stuff...)

After a preliminary attempt at processing it all (which is what human brains try to do) I gave up and chalked it up to: The world has gone mad. But I only stayed with that for a couple of minutes. I gave it one more quick shake and thought: The world hasn't gone mad, it's starting to lose it's madness, but there will still be instances and episodes of madness now and then as we come out of the total madness. These instances and episodes of madness will seem more shocking in relation to the peace we are we are entering. Yeah, that's it. And then I stopped all the thinkin. Except that I gave it a very last mental twitch and wondered if yesterday's events - my witnessing of them, were these some of those synchs that all the cool kids are talking about nowadays? I don't really care, and I hate to equate my petty grievances in my small life with explosions at religious sites, but I have to view the world from out my own window. I keep the world inside my window real chill, I mean, incense, ambient music, no harsh light, the world's most loving and tender cat, satsangs on the youtube, tree of life wall hanging - the works. It's sooo peaceful in my little apartment. When I step outside and get into that rush of drivers, shoppers and workers and players, it really rattles me, the contrast...the reflection of the bigger world reflected in small ways for my little peepers to see in my little world.

1 comment:

laura b. said...

Maybe sometimes you are more ready to see the madness and the ugliness around you. As all that was happening did you also see any small, lovely moments? Someone holding a door for another...a young mom holding her baby at the pool and dipping him into the water over and over patiently...a moment when a breeze hit your face and you thought, "Yes." And the big stories have been ugly lately, but those are the ones people feed off and those are reported (as they should be). The good stories are back paged all the time.