*I usually don't write long blog posts! You don't have to read it all! Just scan through and pick an item and respond to it or don't. Or try back later for a shorter blog post. Or just say hi.

On some days, an ordinary decision can seem SO important, today for example:

Will i buy cigarettes this morning, (Sunday) or will i buy nicotine lozenges? Am I going to lick this smoking thing or what? I've made 'decisions' on this numerous times.

Will I buy coffee or will I buy an energy drink? (Caffeine is required. I will never quit caffeine. Too hot for coffee lately.)

Will I work all day or part of the day?

The context of these decisions is different on weekends, for sure.

I try to imagine the people who will be at the place I go, depending on which item I decide to buy. Starbucks for coffee? Racetrack for energy drink? I also need deodorant. I forgot it during yesterday's supply run. (I like forgetting stuff on supply gives me another chance to go out)

I think of the cashiers I am likely to run into and the likely customer demographic.

If I go get coffee, will I linger a while...and look at the paper...or sit outside at a table and smoke a cigarette (if I have cigarettes at that point).

All these decisions will be my own, it's not like there is someone going with me and I have to agree on each stop with a boo first.

This thing about having to work on a weekend: How hard will I work? Will I have Netflix on while I'm working? Will I just have music on? No music?

Will I work all day or just a few hours?

I act like I work so much, but I spend a lot of time just worrying about work and not working, or just kind of planning, I goof off a lot too - zero work getting done - committed to nonwork activities - OFTEN.

I get my share of down time, of leaving right at 5 and coming home and boobing out.

Right now is kind of a crunch time with work though.

Last night, on an Excel spreadsheet, I created a plan of attack for work stuff - it is a really good plan, and I was really glad I did it...the work is mapped out clearly, I know exactly what I can do at this point, and what I cannot do - and what I have to request from teammates before I can proceed into certain areas.

Right now, work stuff feels really good, and I'm pretty motivated.

It feels like a time when I should be writing too though.

Anyway, today's plan: Will I go for a walk with my neighbor (he's married, and suddenly very Catholic, not a good quote unquote wingman), going for walks with him and his dog has been my usual routine for a couple years now. Will I text him back and say nah man too busy..

Will my friend who's an hour away call me? That dude really likes to talk. Will I answer?

Maybe I'll work all day until late, and then go get a late night beer somewhere, wherever is open.

Will I take a break and hit the pool? That will be a quick trip. Twenty minutes in the Florida sun is about all a person should do. It gets burny after that (unless you got a boo to apply sunblock on ya).

And, yeah, what about this other thing that single guys are supposed to be worried about that is most prevalent on all their minds... how will I fit in some time/effort towards that...or not. The decision I make about where to get caffeine - that could play a major role in today's effort toward that (but probably not). I could continue to ignore that effort altogether. It is working out.

Getting back to my morning run for caffeine, nicoteine, chance encounter, deodorant: THIS MIGHT BE MY ONLY HUMAN CONTACT ALL DAY...telling the cashier whether it's debit or credit...two or three words while holding the door or if somebody else holds the door for me...the rare, random, awkward comment to whoever...who is standing where ever...that is likely to be ignored....

There are two bars right up the street, I always end up talking to somebody at one of those places (when I go...which is about once every two months)...if I drink enough...and stay long enough...and get a little drunk...I always end up talking to somebody...if they're drunk enough to talk back...

If I go in this place often enough, people will start to recognize me. I probably would make friends there. But if I went in there that often, I would become an alcoholic.

There was also the day planning decision about whether I would write a blog post or not: I guess that decision was made and fulfilled. I dictated all this into the android voice recognition thingy and came home and did some edits. The voice recognition thingy made a weird error. I don't know how it got this from what I was saying, but this is what it thought I said: "will have to write a blog post or will i not afraid of love" --I swear, it typed that. Weird. I should speak more clearly into voice recognition...and turn off the music while using it.

Today might be pretty productive!


NoRegrets said...

Hmm... again, it's deep. Volunteering gets you out to do more than just order a drink or buy stuff, and places that are worthwhile help you meet people you want to hear/talk to. But you know that.

laura b. said...

I was just commenting on another blog about being an introvert and living in my own head.
You seem more naturally social. Run with it, why not?

Bobby said...

I wish there was some place where I could go volunteer late at night, or at least at happy hour, ha. Maybe hospitals, though, for real.

My social impulses come in spurts big time. I am so inconsistent. I need at least a small group of friends who are nearby and who I won't get in trouble with their wives...