Once again I sat and said nothing as the conversation whirled around me. Once again I skipped the 'after party.'It's a cult, a freakin cult. Cult members got friends though. The usual failure feelings fizzed out when I froze in my underwear in the air conditioning and the drone-based ambient music. I smoked a couple cigarettes because that's the important thing. I'm the type of person who would not have died at Jonestown...but only because I failed socially, and was unable to gel with the group. So when I fled the comraderie of the leper colony, diving into the channel and swimming to the other side, a version of myself greeted me when I crawled out of the water onto land. I ignored him and walked into the jungle. There is so much complaining to do, and it's hot, it's like toil.