Saturday

Troubling news from home. Various family members in various states of trouble. Last time a big thing came up, I learned about it at 1:30 am, and I got in the car and drove 13 hours, straight to the hospital. Things turned out okay...well...the worst outcome did not come about. There was a point when we were waiting for a critical piece of information, and we were made to wait. My brother-in-law, who I had never seen cry - he cried - and it was hard to see that. I sat next to him and put my arm around him and told him everything was alright and he was doing all he could as a father and a husband, and I told him that he was a good man, and I reminded him that he was my brother, my true brother. He just let it all out.

I feel guilty for not making it back up north (norther) to see sisters and niece and nephews and great niece and great nephews. How the hell did I end up in stupid, plastic Florida. Following some lady, that's how.

I talked to a new guy at work, and he ended up following a lady too, so we kind of laughed and 'bonded' I guess on that. Another guy I work with, well used to, but still do - like remotely, or through skype or whatever - he followed his lady out of town to her new gig across the country.

We end up where we end up...away from 'home' - - we make new homes...where ever. We follow ladies or men and we end up away from our people. We (I) got really isolated in my relationship with 'her'... So I'm down here in paradise Florida...sprouting some roots, I guess, but thinking of uprooting, now and then, the thought comes to just pick up and move again. For whatever reason. For no good reason. Just to go. Just to not be bound to a place or a job.

I will conclude with my usual question or summation: Who cares. No. Who the HELL cares. I don't mean 'who cares' in a disrespectful way...I mean it in more of a 'why care' or 'who cares in the big scheme of things' or 'I care and lie and say I don't care' kind of way or 'this isn't the right thing to care about so why care about it' way or 'I care more about other stuff' ...but lately it seems important that I adjust what it is I care about...and it seems like caring about others is paramount, particularly family and friends and people I spend time with and work with...so my own little troubles, who cares.

1 comment:

laura b. said...

I'm sorry to hear about your recent family event. It sounds difficult, but like you handled it really well and were there for your family when it mattered.
I am tied to where I live through the proximity of my children. If I weren't I would definitely go elsewhere.