Two Things

There is so much I'd like to say right now about two distinct topics. I couldn't possibly elaborate on either one, you never know who's reading. I could do what I often do and give a keyhole peek of a sliver of a shred...but I can't even comment on whether these things are totally earth shaking, or if they're just shaking my little chair. Either I'm still processing the importance, or I just don't want to comment. Obviously I prioritize these two items highly enough to (not) write about them (here). They may only 'seem' important because of strange packaging or strange delivery method. Or maybe packaging or delivery method are what is making them seem unimportant, and in fact, I'm missing the magnitude. As usual I add my usual thought component: who cares. Also, I'll make this a pretty long post, so that anyone reading it will give up before I have really revealed anything (skipping to the end won't help). I could reference the things that are burning on my mind in an indirect crackpot way like I often do. Or, I could take one of these topics that concerns me, and mention something else about it that is totally unrelated to the issue that has 'propelled' it. I could just make a list of random thoughts about various things:

A guy I've known for two years: I recently realized that he's missing the tip of his pinky.

I am more disconnected from people than I should be.

My cat, when she eats, she sticks one paw in the bowl and pulls out a piece of food and eats it off the floor, she looks away like she's bored or the food is boring.

Things wouldn't be so jarring so often if I used my brains a little better.

I max out my brains daily. DAILY.

Wild, imagined scenarios: Only the wild imaginer can be blamed.

There is so much work to do in all areas, and I should probably stop fuckin around.

Selective honesty can go suck a crate of curled monkey dicks.

I have zero leverage, but I don't like the idea of leverage.

The important thing continues to be the learning.

Say three words, "Everything is okay."

I'll take what I can get! If it's not much, that's okay! If it's nothing, that's okay too! If you'd rather take than give, that's okay too!

One thing I'll brag about is that I'm a good case study.

I complained and rejoiced about a particular behavior I witnessed...and I even did the thing too: and felt guilty and felt good too.

When they seem to disagree for the sake of disagreeing, even when there might be a few specks of validity to what you're saying (or more), it's like they're disagreeing with how you are as a person, making it easier to distance themselves by invalidating you fully.

I touch my phone too much lately. When I touch it too much, this stuff comes out of it.

No good can come from the following but still I do them: smokin, listening to The Smiths, lookin at ladies, avoidin lookin at ladies, binging on spiritual videos, getting frustrated, many other activities...

I'm going to give everybody a break.

I worry that a friend is going down a dumb path I went down. Saying so could get sketchy.

Another friend is on a path that I have never been down, but which seems dumb. Saying so could get sketchy.

I sweated up my work clothes by kicking my soccer ball into the air over and over in front of me. It was as though I could have kept it from hitting the surface all night long.

I wish I could find my old bloggin buddy who turned me on to writing lists.

The humans continue to confuse me.

I almost made a friend spit his drink out with a crazy story I was telling.

I love a good crazy, personal, dramatic story; and I've heard a few lately that have made my top ten.

I tried to take the tension out of a tense situation with an odd ball, nonspecific apology for a situation where nobody was to blame maybe.

I was going to do a magic trick and wow somebody. I set up everything, but then I worried that the person might get mad, so I undid the stuff: Take five scraps of paper. Write the following on each: "I knew you'd guess number 1." "I knew you'd guess number 2." "I knew you'd guess number 3." ...and so on. Put each scrap of paper under a different item on a table. Remember which number is under which item. When the person walks in, tell them to say any number from one to five. When they say the number, tell them to pick up the item that has that number under it. Then they be like, dam...magic. I saw that trick on an old Colombo episode.

More attention than usual has been paid to me lately.

My situation declined.

My situation improved.

1 comment:

laura b. said...

Everything is okay.