I did it again. I got too attached to somebody. I got attached, even though there were many warning signs. Among those warning signs were the person's own words of warning: literal and clear.
This is my pattern. I don't know if I want to break this pattern though. I mean: I should probably break the pattern. But, I don't want to be cynical. I mean: I love being cynical. But, I love my own brand of cynical.
I'm clunkin around between spiritual crap and pure heart (as stupid as that sounds and I don't care)...clunkin like a dryer full of auto parts. That sting is real. It's crazy and stupid and I wish I could include my usual thought component: I don't care. I have liquor. I have youtubes fulla videos about presence and awareness and all that shit. I have a tender loving cat. I have a phone full of confusing text messages from various. I got projects going into production and a big happy hour coming. I have nature trails and race tracks.