Tuesday

42 Year Old Kid Wants to Give You Advice...Don't Listen

I am 42 years old, and I have no kids. So I am a 42 year old kid.

When you have kids, you have a certain mandatory maturity and a sense of responsibility that you do not have when you do not have kids. (Usually...mostly...of course there are exceptions...but usually a parent has some kind of inclination or pang of inclination or at least some feelings of guilt to show for their part in some act of procreation).

I mean, I am an adult. I do certain adult things. I can be tried as an adult. I work. I work pretty hard actually. Sometimes. I'm selfish though, self-centered.

I was thinking about all of this the other day while driving to work. And then a counter-thought occurred to me: I have a certain amount of experience. I have more experience than a 32 year old kid or a 22 year old kid or a twelve year old kid. I have advice that I could give. I have more experience than anybody who is younger than me, yes, but by the time a person reaches a certain age, they really wouldn't need any of the advice I could give them. Any wisdom I have attained by this point would be largely unneeded by anybody younger than I am...at least anybody within twenty years of my age. Most other people have their thing together waaaay before I do. They have their own advisers if they need them moreover. And then there's the matter of receptivity: Would anybody younger than I am be receptive to any kind of advice I have? Would I just be jamming platitudes down unwilling throats?

So really, what I am is a 42 year old kid with a desire to advise somebody.

A friend told me about something about spirituality and so called spiritual gurus...and it was brilliant. She said that spiritual advisers...the Echhart Tolles, the Louise Hays, Don Miguel Ruiz...all those fuckers are basically stuck in some phase of their spiritual evolution. They have a childish need to show how wise they are by dropping obvious wisdom on people they feel superior to. So basically: Don't be going around dispensing advise. Instead, be a model of the practice of the advise. Be the advise, be the wisdom. Be an example that others will want to follow just by being around you. It's kind of like that Ghandi thing: "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." I can't even do that. I do all that huffing and puffing at work. I forget birthdays. I don't often bring food for my department's MANDATORY FUCKIN FRIDAY LUNCH PARTY. I slam doors in old women's faces and laugh at them (just kidding)....I beep my car horn sometimes (and it sounds pathetic and wimpy...stupid Toyota horn...doesn't even sound like the horn of a car an adult would drive).

The only seemingly adult attributes I have...I guess...are: 1) I try not to bother people too much. 2) I am a pretty good listener. --These are both really passive attributes.

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Just now, I stepped outside on my little patio, and I noticed that it was raining lightly. This reality struck me funny. It was as though I couldn't understand how it could possibly be raining...because I had not consented to it...I didn't expect it, and therefore, how could it be happening? I had been outside an hour earlier, and it wasn't raining then, and I didn't notice the gathering conditions for rain, so I did not expect rain, so how could it possibly be raining without somebody clearing it with me first... Pretty weird huh?

2 comments:

susie said...

I can't get past "I am 42 years old."

laura b. said...

Even if you have kids, they really don't want your advice. Nearly every single person wants to make their own discoveries and draw their own conclusions. For every great revelation we feel like we have, and want to share, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Wait....that's not right...but maybe you see what I mean.