Sunday

More on Thoughts (ahem hah)

How many of these thoughts can I trust?

Drink water or you'll die of thirst.

Get out the way! A truck is coming.

Yes and yes.

A lot of the other thoughts: no.

What thoughts do you trust?

Thursday

By now you've realized that I have been brainwashed by lots of spiritual books and videos, and I am no longer the same person. I have been convinced that thinking is bad, and therefore I have decided to avoid it. I mean, I have a certain level of comfort and luxury that I desire: four walls, a roof, air conditioning, electricity, data, beer, cigarettes...in order to maintain these comforts, I have to play at this 'Bobby thing' somewhat - and do enough thinking to maintain this threshold. But other than that, thinkin is bad.

Right?

I don't know.

I used to have a lot of 'fun' thinking. I would chase a thought all the way to whatever hole it took me down...and that chase was so amusing.

The writer pipe dream is all about thinking. It's all about fantasy and ego - the fantasy of one day becoming a writer - putting aside any prospect of success in anything else to the pipe dream...making errors at work and fighting the flow of life so that I could be far away in my head.

Maybe there's a level or realm of thought that is actually worth it though. This is the existence question and this is the writer's question: What is worth thinking about? I used to obsess or ruminate or whatever about some pretty trivial troubles. Troubles that everybody has, so what's the point of my hashing and rehashing it. Maybe there was some value there, maybe I brought a smidgen of originality to these same same tired troubles - and maybe it got some laughs.

But, again, maybe there's there's a level or realm of thought that is actually worth it.

These spiritual teachers and writers: They assure me that at all the creativity in the world is within my reach if I can just unfuck my head and stop all the thinkin and be open and aware and receptive and empty so that everything in the world will be in me and I'll be in everything. We'll see or we won't and we'll care or we won't and/but . . .the writer urge continues.

Saturday

I tweeted about this melody a while ago, and I'm listening to it again right now. What hits me is the spaces between the notes. And it's almost as though I can sense the hundreds and thousands of years of time between each note...all of the events and the emotions of everybody who ever existed and the commotions and the calms during that whole period of time between then and now, between the time this song was first played and now.

Sorry, got tripped out there for a minute.

Sunday

Status

Trying to use the mind to understand the mind is dumber than the prospect of the defendant who considers representing himself in court.

Letting go of thoughts with ease could backfire and make room for even more thoughts. Or the released thoughts will come back, even. Gotta fill those gaps with some good strong nothing. Stop and do nothing, i guess, in other words. In no words.

Saturday

Second Harvest



I did some volunteer work today at Second Harvest in Orlando. It's this huge distribution warehouse that receives donated food from Walmart or Winn Dixie or other big stores. They take that food and build orders and truck those to homeless shelters and pantries and churches and so on.

It was great! The guy working there said they moved a million pounds of food last year. I believe it, the place is HUGE. I didn't get a very good video of it, but you can get a sense of the place. And that's only one area of it. They had gigantic walk-in refrigerated areas and another huge room where the orders get built. I'd love to go back there and do it again.